How To Be Vulnerable

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I lose myself only to find myself only to lose myself again to the regret that lingers behind the doors I never opened. Truth I never spoke. Words I never said. Love I never confessed. I'm not living it right. This can't be life. I wear a mask over a mask over a mask so I can hide myself from you. I hide behind an invisible sheath of white cloth that keeps me … [Read more...]

How Love Can Delay Death

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Note: Linda and Kenny were my neighbors neighbor and truth be told I didn't know them that well. I was a child and I didn't comprehend all the events going on in my world. But I knew their story. They were legends in my cul-de-sac and they lived a life worth sharing. I don't know if they wanted their story to be shared so the names Linda and Kenny are used instead of their real … [Read more...]

The Greatest Man I’ve Ever Known…

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His eyes are cold with untold stories of struggle. His face is ugly with wrinkles. His arms are cut with scars. His hair is thinning. His back aches with pain. His teeth are rotting. And I envy him. He turned $10 into a multi-million dollar business. He is the greatest man I have ever known. And his life made me realize that my life is destined for turmoil and heartache. The … [Read more...]

An Ode To The Boy I Used To Be…

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I was digging through the vaults of posts I never published and I found a poem I wrote in 2011. A time full of misery because I was working tirelessly to help build someone else's dream...at the expense of my own. I decided to publish it today because it serves as a reminder that things are never as bad as they seem. After the rain, comes the sun...if you just hold onto your … [Read more...]

If You Are Broke, Try This…

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I went away to college in California and expected the world to bow at my feet. It didn't. It fed me hot pockets for breakfast, lunch, and dinner instead. Actually that's a lie. I ate Lucky Charms for breakfast without the charms or the luck because I was broke. I had little to no money and I didn't know a single soul in San Diego. It was rough and lonely. Then six months … [Read more...]

How To Be A Modern Day Slave

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I admit it. I was jealous. I was envious. I wanted my peers to succeed as long as they didn’t see more success than I did. I envy the people who are truly happy for the people around them when they succeed. That’s not me. I'm competitive to a fault. Other people’s success makes me feel insecure. Other people’s success makes me think about my mistakes and my failures … [Read more...]

No Love In The Heart Of The City

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"But how? How the fuck do you know?" "You just know." I laughed. I didn't believe her. I couldn't believe her. It sounded like bullshit to me. Maybe it was a mother's way of protecting her youngest from the wild and harsh realities of life. I smiled and said, "OK, mom." But in reality, I made a vow to stay the man who could only love himself. Lust? Sure. Love? … [Read more...]

How to Conquer the World

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No one threw us a life jacket. They let us drown. I kept kicking and clawing because my teacher once told me, "A person only floats when they're dead." But it didn't work. The water was pulling me down. A brick was strapped to my foot. My mom looked at me with water in her eyes. But then something great happened. The mailman delivered the welfare check and he saved … [Read more...]

When I Grow Up, I Want To Be…

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"Your son has lost it. You gave birth to a fucking idiot." My Uncle told my mother, only half jokingly. "Go tell her what you just told me, tell her what you want to go do.."  "I want to go to the slums and live with the poor." I replied. "Haaaaaaaaa." She laughed. My Uncle laughed. My Aunt laughed. Even my 10 year old cousin laughed. Everyone laughed...at me. I … [Read more...]

How To Deal With Failure

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My business tanked and crumbled to the ground. I was left feeling sad and miserable and anxious. Then my cell phone started ringing. It was the doubters and haters calling, the people who had warned me to not start up such a "risky" venture in the first place. I could already hear the laughter coming from the other side of the phone. I could hear them telling me, "I TOLD … [Read more...]