My business tanked and crumbled to the ground. I was left feeling sad and miserable and anxious.
Then my cell phone started ringing. It was the doubters and haters calling, the people who had warned me to not start up such a “risky” venture in the first place.
I could already hear the laughter coming from the other side of the phone. I could hear them telling me, “I TOLD YOU, DUMB ASS.”
But I didn’t pick up lol.
I could give two shits about what they had to say. I’ll live and die with the decisions that I make. And right now I was certainly closer to the latter.
I wanted to curl up in the fetal position like a little baby and never face the world again. So that’s what I did. I turned my phone off and went to sleep. Or I tried to go to sleep. But I couldn’t. Every time I closed my eyes, I just saw my money burning, piles and piles of money burning.
As I stared at the ceiling with pale eyes, all I could think about was one thing…
How would I ever recover from this?
The story I shared with you above was from years and years ago.
To make a short story even shorter, I did recover, but at the time, I thought the world was over.
Because when failure hits, it hits hard.
It left me in the fetal position, bruised and bloody.
But I loved it for that…because it taught me how to feel.
I’m sitting at a dinner with people who are veterans in their field.
One of the titans asks, “What do you think is the objective of your life?”
“I think the objective of my life is to kill myself, each and every day.”
The entire table stops eating and looks at me with eyes that silently speak the words, “WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY?”
I look away. I grab my glass of water and press it to my mouth…trying my best not to look awkward, but every time I try not to look awkward, I end up looking awkward. This time is no exception. No water comes out of the glass. There was nothing in the glass left to drink.. Fuck me, I think to myself. But it’s kind of funny. I laugh. They laugh too.
I hope they don’t read this article because I wasn’t joking.
I do in fact think the objective of life is to kill yourself.
I’m not talking about suicide. I’m talking about releasing everything inside of you and returning to bed feeling a little lighter…with one less dream or idea inside of you.
I try to kill a piece of me by taking an idea that resides within me and releasing it into the world.
Some days I soar, some days I suffer.
But I don’t really care.
So what if it doesn’t go as planned? It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters because 100 years from now we are all going to be dust.
My only job and objective and mission is to release the ideas inside of me.
I want to be empty when I die. All the ambition, laughter, lust for adventure, and love should be out in the world. Not inside me. It serves no purpose in a coffin.
When death comes…and takes me…I want it to cringe…because it will realize that there is nothing left to kill.
I died long before it met me. For I took all the dreams inside of me and I put them in motion and they flew to the top of the world.
I would never tell you what to do, but I hope you kill yourself too, each and every day.
I hope you take your ideas, dreams, and visions and release them into the world…and watch them fly. The only thing you should leave behind is an empty body. All your love, passion, and visions should be out and about, dancing in the world.
Don’t let the thought of failure or your past failures stop you.
There really isn’t a way to deal with failure…
I know the article is titled, how to deal with failure. But I don’t have an answer.
You just have to endure it and continue…so you can focus on bigger and better things.
Like killing yourself. For that is the true objective of life.
How do you kill yourself? I’m glad you asked.
You find what you love and you let it kill you.
MY MOMMAS HOUSE